What I learned from 90s television: Family Matters

10 Things I have learned from Family Matters:

  1. Despite what I thought at age seven, the show is actually called “Family Matters”, not “Family Manners”.
  2. That nerds are actually really hot.
  3. When you f*ck up, just say “Deeed I doooo theaaat??” and despite the angry looks surrounding you, there will be overwhelming laughter from a non-existent audience.
  4. Where Waldo has been this whole damn time.
  5. If someone won’t quit annoying you, just tell them to “GO HOME!”
  6. “3, 2, 1… 1, 2, 3… What the heck is bothering me?!”
  7. That, in order to do the Steve Urkel dance; all you have to do is hitch-up your pants; bend your knees, and stick out your pelvis (its better than Elvis). Gangnam style? Please. Betch, please.
  8. If you’ve got a craving for it, don’t be afraid to ask your neighbors if they’ve GOT ANY CHEEESE?!
  9. “Hi-di HO Mister WINSLOW!” – I’m pretty sure I greeted people this way for a time.
  10. (Kah-chung, CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH—Duhhh-dummm, Ding!-Ding!-Ding! Ding-duhhh dum dahdah dummmm dahh!) … As daaaays go byyyyyy, it’s the bigger love of the faaaaamily.

What I learned from 90s television: Hey Arnold!

Rather than doing a film post this week, I thought I’d share a little something I have been writing:

What I learned from 90s television

Please add to the list, as I’m sure there are fellow 90s babies that found this as fun as I did. (at least I hope I’m not the only one…)

What I learned from Hey Arnold!:

1.    If you have a crush on a boy, you should probably create a shrine of him. It’s the best use of your time, for sure.

2.    This boy you have a crush on. You should insult him in order to get his attention. Perhaps you can criticize the shaping of his head.

3.    If you’re looking to make a world record, the world’s largest pizza is definitely the way to go.

4.    Have a bad-ass handshake with your best friend. (Note to self: figure out how to nail ‘beewoo-wooo-oo-wooh’ sound)

5.    It’s cool to wear teeny-tiny baseball caps that are actually smaller than your nose.

6.    A paper fortune-teller is the most accurate way to discover whom you will eventually marry.

7.    As awesome as they look, it’s probably not the best idea to go downtown dressed as a banana/strawberry. You could find yourself mixed up in a case of mistaken identity. Scary stuff, kids.

8.    There are in fact ways to get into bars at a young age, and dominate the pool table. You just have to dress real suave, and wear shades. (Funny; last time I tried this, I was denied entry.)

9.    The “Tunnel of Love” is a real thing. Magic-dreamboat-ride-of-your-life.

10.  Wilikers, this really bites.




(uh-here we go, here we go…)