What I learned from 90s television: Hey Arnold!

Rather than doing a film post this week, I thought I’d share a little something I have been writing:

What I learned from 90s television

Please add to the list, as I’m sure there are fellow 90s babies that found this as fun as I did. (at least I hope I’m not the only one…)

What I learned from Hey Arnold!:

1.    If you have a crush on a boy, you should probably create a shrine of him. It’s the best use of your time, for sure.

2.    This boy you have a crush on. You should insult him in order to get his attention. Perhaps you can criticize the shaping of his head.

3.    If you’re looking to make a world record, the world’s largest pizza is definitely the way to go.

4.    Have a bad-ass handshake with your best friend. (Note to self: figure out how to nail ‘beewoo-wooo-oo-wooh’ sound)

5.    It’s cool to wear teeny-tiny baseball caps that are actually smaller than your nose.

6.    A paper fortune-teller is the most accurate way to discover whom you will eventually marry.

7.    As awesome as they look, it’s probably not the best idea to go downtown dressed as a banana/strawberry. You could find yourself mixed up in a case of mistaken identity. Scary stuff, kids.

8.    There are in fact ways to get into bars at a young age, and dominate the pool table. You just have to dress real suave, and wear shades. (Funny; last time I tried this, I was denied entry.)

9.    The “Tunnel of Love” is a real thing. Magic-dreamboat-ride-of-your-life.

10.  Wilikers, this really bites.




(uh-here we go, here we go…)